Pubic Service Announcement – Intimate Expression and Choice
Clinical Psychotherapist, EdM, LMSW
Jenny Mahlum is a best-selling author and acclaimed therapist specializing in sex therapy, couples counseling, and intimacy. Her expertise has been featured in The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Newsweek, and Everyday Health. An NYU-trained therapist with additional degrees in psychology and human development from Harvard and Northwestern, Jenny merges a deep understanding of human behavior with clinical excellence. We partnered with Jenny as part of Kiehl's Pubic Library to delve into uncensored conversations about all things personal and intimate—explore her expert insights below.
Whatever your routine, pubic hair grooming is often a balance between one’s private and public selves, reflecting how they see themselves and what they desire. This practice blends body image, sexual habits, and intimate relationships into one’s psychosexual landscape. Pubic hair grooming choices can also significantly influence how someone expresses their sexuality and their experience of intimacy.
Ever wondered why pubic hair care is more prevalent across genders than trimming armpit or leg hair? It ties into sex appeal, which in turn connects to an individual’s deeply ingrained, evolutionarily driven need for intimacy—that snug sense of closeness that enhances a person’s mental health and wellbeing.
❝ Whatever your routine, pubic hair maintenance is often a balance between a person’s private and public selves, reflecting how they see themselves and what they desire. ❞
Society’s ever-evolving standards of sexiness often dictate what’s hot and what’s not. Research shows that those who groom down there aren’t just keeping tidy or prioritizing smoothness—they are immersing themselves in a world of heightened sexual adventure and sexual confidence. Studies on undergrads reveal that women feel more attractive, confident, ready to mingle, and sexually active with a smooth body post-grooming compared to men. One study noted that women who removed body hair reported higher self-esteem and more frequent sex. Many women describe pubic hair maintenance as essential for feeling "clean," which they closely associate with femininity. Concerns about body odor and social judgment are common. They often avoid social situations if they don't feel "fresh," fearing they might flout social norms.
Believe it or not, however, ditching the fuzz down there isn't necessary for hygiene. Quite the opposite. Pubic hair can trap bacteria, keeping them away from one’s genitals. Though trimming and pubic hair maintenance can keep pubic lice at bay, it comes with risks like cuts, irritation, or infections. Dermatologists warn that grooming can cause tiny skin injuries, making it easier for pathogens to invade. Intimate hair care mishaps can also increase the risk of non-viral STIs, like gonorrhea and chlamydia, but not viral ones like genital herpes. Women tend to face more of these side effects due to more frequent and complete hair removal. Generally, more than half of women opt for full hair removal, while about one-third choose just a trim.
❝ Pubic hair maintenance choices can also significantly influence how someone expresses their sexuality and their experience of intimacy. ❞
Beyond just feeling clean and attractive, women might maintain their pubic hair for various reasons, including comfort, peer influence, media trends, and the preferences of partners, potential partners, or assumed partner preferences. Women report finding greater satisfaction in their relationships when both partners are on the same page, even if it goes against their expectations. Men, conversely, report greater satisfaction and happiness in their love lives when their partner’s grooming habits align with their expectations.
Sexual scripts and stereotypes can lead to assumptions, so communication is key when it comes to making decisions based on a partner's preferences. The most successful relationships are often between partners who truly pay attention to each other and support what matters most to each other.
HOW SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS
INFLUENCE INTIMATE CARE
In the realm of beauty, particularly within Anglo/Western cultures, women are constantly inundated with the notion that removing pubic hair is a means to "fix" what society deems unattractive. Among queer women, the expectation to go bare down there is also strong.
This trend is often portrayed as a route to empowerment, independence, and bodily autonomy. While it appears to be a personal choice, both consciously and subconsciously, it is heavily influenced by media, social norms, and the dynamics of close relationships. This throws a wrench into the idea of true choice when it comes to hair care decisions. There's pressure to embrace current beauty trends, driven by an underlying fear of being judged by friends and romantic partners. Women also report feeling pressure to juggle fitting in and defying picture-perfect feminine ideals.
❝ Believe it or not, however, ditching the fuzz down there isn't necessary for hygiene. Quite the opposite. Pubic hair can trap bacteria, keeping them away from one’s genitals. ❞
While some research cites personal preference as a key motivation for women, it also indicates that women are not naive to how much that preference is impacted by external factors. Women acknowledge that the push for hairlessness is powerful and that they can feel society's influence firmly on the scale of their preferences and decisions.
Some women find that flaunting their body hair is a fantastic way to thumb their noses at societal norms. They might often choose to keep their hair, not because it’s a personal preference or a partner’s preference, but as a form of protest or a way to show resilience and strength in the face of societal expectations. Standing up to social pressures isn't just about going against the flow; it's seen by other women as a badge of honor and a demonstration of inner strength.
❝ Studies on undergrads reveal that women feel more attractive, confident, and sexually active with a smooth body post-hair removal compared to men. ❞
No matter your age, relationship status, gender identity, sexual orientation, sexual experiences, definition of intimacy, grooming habits, or the motivations behind them, each day offers a new opportunity to redefine your habits and routines. The media isn’t wrong, empowerment can come from a choice. But it depends on the content of the choice, the range of options available, and ultimately how you feel about your decision. It depends on your mindset. More than one specific choice, empowerment also comes from knowing that the ability to choose comes from within you.
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